When I saw that you weren’t rescuing me, I put my life in my own hands and went over to attack the people of ‘Amon; and Adonai gave them over into my power. So why have you come up today to fight me?”
There is a big difference between having a conversation to address grievances and going on the assault to get back at someone. As believers, we should take lead from the family structure of Israel and seek to treat each other as brothers and sisters. If we don’t, if we treat each other as different peoples and enemies, we risk turning an opportunity for growth into a battlefield. As a verse says “when the white flag is flown, no one has won the war.”
Walking In Liberty 